December 19, 2009
Why Does Everyone Else Always Seem To Have It Together? (And “Wow! I am my kids mom!”)
It’s been a rough few weeks months.
There are days when I don’t feel like myself anymore. I feel like my hormones are controlling me – always tired, angry or sad. Pretty much always, yea.
I hate it.
Then I feel depressed and lonely and my thoughts go crazy and I forget mytrue identity.
I look around and every other mom seems to have it so together – days filled with crafts and cookies and smiles and energy. My dreams and desires are filled with those things, my reality is not.
When I bake cookies, I feel impatient with my babes.
When I plan a craft, I’m just to tired to follow through with it.
Here’s the thing, I know the truth. I know that not every one has it all together and pictures often tell a different story. But it’s hard not to compare. It’s hard to remember who I am. It’s hard to persevere and fight the good fight. I want to do the hard things, but sometimes I can barely do the easy things.
With all of that said, I recently received an incredibly encouraging comment from The Queen Mommy; this is what she said:
“…don’t let the enemy – the defeated one – get away with his lies of insignificance and worthlessness. God made you a mama – YOUR children’s mama – for a perfectly divine purpose.”
Wow.
Even though I feel like a complete and utter failure most of the time when it comes to mothering my sweet babes, this comment gave me a whole new perspective.
God knows my failings and yet He chose me as my kids mommy…and He did so for a purpose.
Did He know what He was doing when He gave them me? I mean, wouldn’t they do better with a mommy who was organized and energized and joyful all the time?
Me.
He gave them to me.
A failure.
A sinner.
A saint by His grace and mercy and love.
Oh that I would fall into His truth daily, because I can’t do this mommy/wife/homemaker thing myself. I will fail.
“When my father and my mother fail me, the LORD will take me up.” Psalm 27:10
Anyone else ever feel like this?
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